I’m resurrecting this blog. And the impetus behind this resurrection comes from a very unlikely source (for me): FOOD. I’m not really into food. I mean, I like eating it, but I’m not a foodie, and I’m not really into cooking. However, I kind of want to be. Or rather, I just want to be a healthy eater (and a more creative cook).
My husband and I are undertaking the Whole30 challenge. If you don’t feel like clicking on the link, I’ll just tell you that it’s basically eating the Paleo diet for 30 days as a means to reset your system and figure out your food sensitivities. That means that for 30 days, there’s no dairy, gluten, soy, alcohol, added sugars, MSG, and so on and so forth – and plenty of all types of meat, eggs, veggies, fruit, and healthy fats. For many people this has been life changing, and well, I want in on that action. I need some changes in my life.
I have an unhealthy relationship with food. You can’t really tell by looking at me. I’m not overweight, though I do have my beloved mommy tummy that grew three babies – however, that tummy is getting larger and I have my fair share of flab. And that’s okay, I really don’t need to be perfect. This isn’t really about how I look, though it’d be nice to shed that extra ten pounds that showed up in November and made me go up a size in jeans. It’s more about how I feel, which is tired and fluffy and bloated and gross most of the time. Did I mention tired? I’m exhausted, and I feel confident that not all of that has to do with parenting-related sleep deprivation. I’ve been breaking out on a regular basis since the fall, and that’s not really something that I’ve ever really had a problem with. And I have issues with pain, because I have scoliosis that has gotten worse as I’ve added years (and kids) to my life. I won’t say that my quality of life sucks – it doesn’t – but I want it to be better. I want to be healthier.
I want to stop turning to cookies and cake and candy and soda and processed food to make me feel better or because I’m bored or for whatever other reason. My addiction to crappy food is real and it’s overwhelming, and I have made small positive changes in the past few years that have made this clear to me. But as we all know, when you need something to change, eventually you have to take a big leap. This is my big leap. It’s for me, and it’s for my family.
My middle child is a sugaraholic. I’m not proud of this fact, and it reflects on my parenting. Am I a bad mom? No, but I’ve made some bad choices and he’s learning from me. He’s only 4 so it’s not like his dietary habits are carved in stone. I feel strongly that we can turn this trend around, but of course it’s going to have to start with the big people in the house. You know, we’re going to have to actually be adults and exercise some self-control instead of hiding in a corner to eat a piece of candy, which does happen on the daily. We’re going to have to face our feelings head on instead of eating them.
Almost eight years ago, I quit smoking cigarettes cold turkey after a decade of habitual smoking. It is one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself and those I love. I keep returning to that feeling of triumph when I think about how hard Whole30 is going to be. I want to be able to say, “I quit shitty food.”
So here goes. It’s the night before Whole30. I just finished drinking a Dr. Pepper and eating chips and queso. A last meal of sorts. I hope to blog regularly throughout this journey, but I imagine some days it will be difficult enough just to get through to bedtime. The only promise I’m making is to myself: to commit to these 30 days and see where they take me.