fragments

My thoughts are fragmented.  I am fragmented.

A road trip is brewing – Texas bound.  We leave this Saturday.  We will be gone nine days.  In the space of those nine days, we will see my dad.

It may be the last time.

In this griefspace, I listen to Tori Amos and read my old journals.  I reread my favorite books.  I write in my sketchpad.  I wear the same two shirts over and over.  I have nothing insightful to say about grief.  It’s just something I’m doing.  Feeling.  Being.

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5 thoughts on “fragments

  1. I am sorry my friend. I know how difficult it is to be shattered and have to take care of a family. I hope that this trip is pleasant and peaceful. xoxoxo ❤

    • Hey friend…..I’d told you I’d be here 4 years and counting…..old faithful, old hag…..whatever the case may be.

      My marrige will most likely be gone, but I still have YOU as a friend….and in retrospect I’m glad I went to the knot if i didn’t, perhaps we would have never met!!!

      Grief sucks ass, i wont lie…..you just have to deal with it….I know, i know…….deal deal DEAL…..FREAKING A……CAN’T YOU JUST GET A FREAKING FRACKING BREAK ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!

      No……and you wont for the rest of your life, it will get easier……but you will NEVER forget.

      I wish i could smile in your face and lie to you, say something like….OH, don’t worry love things will be ok, things will get better……..when people say that to me, i feel like cleaning the floor with their ass.

      I have no idea why i was compelled to write that to you but, I hope I didn’t sound too harsh.

      I’m here for ya…..when you need an ear…….:)

      E

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